One of the most difficult aspects of being the executor of someone’s estate is the fact that emotions can run very high. Not everybody (and maybe nobody) is going to agree with how you handle the job.
What can you do to navigate this situation effectively, without getting embroiled in endless battles that could potentially turn into litigation? Here are some tips:
1. Communicate often and clearly
From the state, open the lines of communication with the entire group of beneficiaries and heirs so that everybody is on the same page regarding the probate process, the legal obligations you’re required to fulfill and the timeline they can anticipate. Regular updates about the progress of the estate can help alleviate concerns about the estate (and any suspicions that you’re dragging the process out for some personal reason).
2. Document everything you do
You have to be meticulous about your records when you’re handling someone’s estate. Every transaction needs to be recorded, and every receipt needs to be kept. If you have a verbal communication with one of the expected heirs or beneficiaries, make sure that you follow it up with a written memo afterward, reviewing what was discussed.
3. Be patient with your explanations
It may be difficult to keep your emotions in check, but it’s necessary. Staying calm and professional when an heir is being emotional, accusatory or confrontational is the best way to diffuse the situation. Sometimes, all someone needs is help to reset their expectations. That may mean, for example, explaining to the deceased’s family members that you cannot allow them to take personal mementos until the estate is settled because you’re liable for anything that goes missing, not because you’re withholding anything.
Funerals can bring families together – or drive them apart. As the executor of someone’s estate, you may get some firsthand experience with the way that someone’s death can destabilize complex family dynamics. If the situation looks like it may become volatile, seeking legal guidance may be wise.
